Sadness is a wonderful opportunity God gives us to reflect on our losses or troubles. The concern is that we may in the depth of sadness lose any hope for the future. But sadness is an opportunity for us to encourage and build each other up in our hope. Reading the book of Job will help to place sadness in it's proper perspective.

The process


After getting through the stages of denial, bargaining, blaming and anger we come to the reality of loss and feel sad. If we decide we have a responsibility for the loss we are able to identify our mistake and face it. Only then can we ask God to forgive us and forgive ourselves. We do not need to forget the mistake in order to forgive ourselves. When we forgive we remember with a different emotion than when we continue to blame ourselves. If we are unable to face our mistake or loss and use sadness as our way of coping we risk a number of possibilities. The first is that of inactivity when some actions are needed. This is frequently seen with sadness. The second is that when our genetics make us prone to depression we go deeper into sadness until we are in clinical depression. This lasts a long time and is associated with a significant risk of either neglecting ourself or of harming ourself. Fortunatley there are a number of medicines which are effective. Unfortunately none of the medicines are predictable in individual patients. Some of the individual characteristics make it possible to avoid some medicines which are not likely to work but most of the time it is trial and error. This is also true when two medicines are needed either because of only partial results from one or because of the side effects of the one which makes it impossible to raise the dosage to an effective level with that particular medicine.

The first mistake


The first time we make a mistake it is understandable. Adam and Eve were warned not to eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge. When they ate of the apple, they didn't know what they were asking. They were asking for complete responsibility for their actions. Adam blamed Eve. Eve blamed the serpent. They did not believe or trust God. They did not stop and ask for wisdom. Of course, they did eventually realize that they needed to depend on God. Just as importantly, they came to the knowledge of good and evil and from then forward had choices in the way they would live.

Life paradox


They were free to live independently of God but only successfully if they were able to submit themselves to Him. This is another of life's paradoxes. We are in the same situation. We are able to make independent decisions and actions, our free will, but are very much dependent on God and each other. The paradox is, we are more independent when we are able to be dependent on God or others. If we are completly dpendent on God we can be free of some of the cares of living. We do not need to purchase protection against all possible calamities. We do not need a large retirement fund. When we are dependent on God for guidance and wisdom we do not need to be shackled by fear of the future. We can be independent of fear and hate.

About The Goal Suffering Denial Bargain/Blaming Anger Sadness Acceptance Faith-Hope-Love Joy e-mail me